


Devotion

by Aryagraceling



Series: Catharsis [19]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Begging, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Cuddling, Dirty Talk, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Morning After, Oral Sex, Rimming, Rough Sex, Shopping, Teasing, pillow forts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 19:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14984408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryagraceling/pseuds/Aryagraceling
Summary: Iruka comes home in bad shape after a mission, and Kakashi is there to pick up the pieces.





	1. Chapter 1

“Iruka? You in there?” Kakashi rapped lightly on the door again and Iruka sighed, tossing his glass in the sink. He knew the jonin would fuss over the bandages bisecting his arm, the bruises littering his skin, the redness in his eyes that wouldn't go away.  _ You need it. Let it happen, Iruka.  _

He padded heavily to the door and swung it open, unable to meet Kakashi’s eyes. “Hey,” he said quietly. “I missed you.” Kakashi made a small noise as Iruka pulled him inside and leaned into him, pinning him against the wall. “Missed you,” Iruka repeated, wrapping his arms around the jonin. “I--”  _ Need you.  _ Kakashi’s hands stroked up his back, feeling along the scar on his spine.  _ Fuck, don’t stop.  _ Iruka groaned at the feeling before resting his hands on Kakashi’s shoulders and looking down between them. “I need to eat.”

“I’ll grab something,” Kakashi murmured. “Don’t worry, ‘Ru. You’re safe here. Tell me about it when I get back?” 

Iruka nodded and Kakashi kissed his forehead before disappearing in a pop of chakra. He sagged against the wall before turning and sliding down, tapping the back of his head lightly.  _ So fucking tired. This is why you don’t take missions, idiot. Do they ever turn out well?  _

It was supposed to be an easy mission--guard a merchant caravan from one small town to the other. “Simple,” he spat. “Fuck.” The first few days had gone smoothly, boringly. The caravan was slow as mud and all Iruka wanted was to be back home, entangled in Kakashi. Then the missing-nin appeared. From all sides they’d poured in, and it was all he and Hana could do to get the wagons to safety. 

The merchants had lied. Gold, sapphires, rubies--more than they were willing to pay to protect was being shipped, and the pair of chunin got caught in the crossfire. He shifted his shoulder, wincing at the pain of where a few stray senbon had caught him.  _ Bastards. Last time I help a fucking money-hungry, grubby piece of-- _

“Take an B-rank,” he muttered, mocking Kakashi’s suggestion. “You’re good. Why not test out your field skills? Been a while, hasn’t it?” He didn’t blame the jonin.  _ Being with a teacher’s got to be hard when you’re practically a fucking god.  _ “Not like he could have predicted it,” he said.

The thing weighing most heavily on him was the stench of blood he couldn’t escape. He’d washed the crimson tears off in the river, then in a long, blistering hot shower at home, but the young nin’s blood haunted him. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen, but made it astonishingly clear it was him or Iruka. He’d cried when his kunai slipped between the boy’s ribs, scraping over bone and through tissue. 

Another pop of chakra sounded and Iruka swiped away a stray tear as Kakashi appeared with a bag from Ichiraku. “What are you doing down there?” Kakashi asked, toeing off his shoes. “Ramen’s okay, right?”

“‘S fine,” Iruka said. “Help me up.” Kakashi’s grip was hard enough to bruise as he tugged Iruka from the floor. “You pick the movie tonight,” he said, retreating to curl on the couch. “I don’t want to make any decisions.”

Kakashi handed him a bowl and chopsticks before silently picking out one of Iruka’s favorite comedies. He started it and the pair ate in silence, Iruka lost in his head and trying not to notice Kakashi’s worried glances.  _ Not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me go dark, ‘Kashi.  _ His eyes stared listlessly at the TV, an occasional soft snort escaping him at a joke.

He finished and got up to put the container in the trash, but Kakashi pressed him down. “I’ve got it, babe,” he said. Iruka smiled wanly.  _ Still nice, after months. Who knew Hatake Kakashi would call someone babe? Babe. Just like the boy.  _ The thought raced through his mind before he could stop it and he tensed, pulling back into the couch. Kakashi perched next to him with a hand outstretched, eyes soft. “Can I touch you?”  _ Now, seriously?  _ Iruka’s brow knit and Kakashi shook his head. “That came out wrong. Not sexually,” he muttered. “Just...do you want a massage or something? It always makes me feel better after a hard mission.”

“Please,” Iruka said shakily. Kakashi’s hand was warm on his knee and he wanted to just relax into the touch, but his muscles wouldn’t move. 

The jonin slid his hands to maneuver him to he was bent over the arm of the couch, back to Kakashi. “You need to relax,” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He stroked gently through Iruka’s thin shirt, whispering comforting nonsense until Iruka felt something inside shift and he went limp. “That’s it, ‘Ru, I’ve got you,” Kakashi said, beginning to work the muscles in Iruka’s shoulders. “Kami, you’re more knot than man.”

Iruka laid silently as Kakashi continued, occasionally groaning when he hit a tender spot. It felt good, and once again, Iruka was struck by the fact that it was one of Konoha’s elite caring for him.  _ About  _ him. He hissed when Kakashi dug into a bruise, and the jonin bent to press a kiss to the spot. “Sorry,” Kakashi whispered. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Iruka said. He sat up and took out his ponytail, enjoying the feather-light swish of hair around his shoulders. “Could you do up my neck?” Kakashi kissed his nape before swiping calloused fingers over the sensitive skin, drawing out a long sigh. The movie credits were rolling, but Iruka continued to let Kakashi work him for a while before the empty whine of the TV started grating on him. “Kakashi, can you turn that off, please?”

“Mhmm,” Kakashi hummed, trailing his fingers over Iruka’s back as he got up. When he sat back down, he slid his arms around Iruka’s stomach and pulled the chunin flush against him. “Feeling a little better?”

“I killed a boy,” Iruka said, screwing his eyes shut.

Kakashi paused before tightening his grip and resting his chin on Iruka’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It is what it its.”

“Are you okay?” Kakashi asked.

Iruka rested his hands on his knees, fighting against the memories. “No,” he said, voice cracking.  _ Damn it, why can’t I stop thinking about it? I’m weak. Pathetic. Mizuki was right.  _ A tear slid down his cheek onto Kakashi’s arm and he broke away, shutting the bathroom door behind him. He heard Kakashi moving as he went to the sink, splashing water on his face, trying to calm himself.  _ “Fuck,”  _ he groaned, leaning over the vanity. 

“Iruka?” Kakashi asked through the door. The chunin ignored him in favor of starting a bath, needing to feel the burn of the water once more. “Hey, I’m coming in there if you don’t answer me.” Iruka ripped a hand across his eyes when the door opened, ashamed of the fact that yet again, he was crying in front of Kakashi.  _ Weak. He doesn’t cry.  _ “Hey, hey,” Kakashi said soothingly as he knelt beside the porcelain. Iruka turned away and buried his face in his arm. “Let me help, ‘Ru.”

“How can you?” Iruka asked. “I killed a kid and then I let it fucking get to me. That’s not supposed to happen. You of all people should know that.” Kakashi continued to rub his back and the simple gesture, the connection, forced out a sob as Iruka grew more agitated.  _ “Never  _ let your feelings show. I can’t do that. I can’t  _ handle  _ that. I can’t--” He bit off the sentence and growled. “I can’t  _ not  _ care about the fact that I killed a goddamned kid.”

Kakashi stepped back and started pulling clothes off as Iruka turned off the tap. “I’m coming in,” he said. Iruka nodded and scooted backward as Kakashi sat in front of him, capturing his face in both hands and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I’m here for you, you know that, right?” He brought their foreheads together and they sat there, breathing each other’s air until Iruka’s cheeks lifted slightly beneath his hands.

“Thank you,” Iruka whispered.  _ I don’t deserve it and I can’t possibly repay you, but thank you, Kakashi.  _ The feelings of frustration and despair began to fade away under the jonin’s touch and Iruka moved to slide his hands up Kakashi’s thighs under the warm water. “He couldn’t have been more than fifteen or sixteen, Kakashi,” he said. “His life had barely begun and already...kami, missing-nin fucking suck.” His cock twitched as Kakashi began to sweep his hands down his neck and over his shoulders. “But I had to get home. I’ve finally got a reason.” He blushed when Kakashi met his eyes, gaze steady.

“Missions go wrong,” Kakashi said softly. “Just remember that. It’s not your fault, Iruka. I know it hurts. Trust me, I know.” He tugged Iruka into a hug and kissed his temple. “You’ll get through this. You’re a survivor.”

Iruka fit his face into the hollow of Kakashi’s neck. A few stray tears wet the pale skin before he pulled away to brush his nose up the line of the jonin’s throat, inhaling deeply. “Yeah,” he whispered. Kakashi shivered below him when his tongue slipped out to lick his pulse point. “Help me?”

“Ahh,” Kakashi said, tilting his head back for better access. “What are you--”

“Shut up,” Iruka said. He nipped along Kakashi’s jawline before pushing him back and leaning over him. “Shut up and fucking help me. Make me forget.”

“You’re not thinking straight,” Kakashi muttered. “We shouldn’t now.”

“Kakashi, I want you to fuck me,” Iruka said. “Hard and fast and unforgettably. I don’t want to remember my name when you’re finished.” 

“Are you sure?”

Iruka swallowed hard before capturing Kakashi’s lips and rutting up against his stomach. “I’ve never wanted anything more. Please.”

 

**

The sight of Iruka leaning over him, bruised, bandaged, and begging, went straight to Kakashi’s cock.  _ He’s never been so beautifully desperate. And I love him for it.  _ The realization slammed into him with the force of the Rasengan, twisting his gut exactly like the jutsu.  _ I love him.  _ He stood quickly, Sharingan opening of its own accord as the phrase rattled in his head. “I--”

Iruka’s eyes widened at the sight of the eye. “‘Kashi?”

_ Close it. Don’t scare him.  _ “I--” he said again, cocking his head and allowing himself one last glance. “Sorry. Got distracted.” He gasped when Iruka’s hand wrapped around him and started stroking lightly. “‘Ru--stop.”

“Why?” Iruka breathed, kissing his neck. “Might as well get ready before you use me.”

_ Use you? Kami, Iruka, no.  _ “Go lay down,” Kakashi said. “I’ll be out in a second.” He pushed Iruka out of the tub and knelt to unplug the drain, catching the sight of Iruka glaring before he told Kakashi no and grabbed himself. “It’ll be a few more seconds, Iruka, you’ll live.”

Iruka threw a towel at him and retreated, muttering irritatedly. Kakashi ran a hand down the length of his body, taking a deep breath.  _ The man I love, waiting for me.  _ He closed his eyes and tilted his head back for another breath.  _ ‘Use me.’ Never, Iruka.  _

Iruka was sprawled on the bed when he walked out. “Come here,” the chunin ordered. 

Kakashi approached slowly, chest swelling at the sight of Iruka bared for him. He stood near Iruka’s head and ran a hand  _ just  _ above the tanned skin of the chunin’s chest and stomach. “Have I told you recently how beautiful you are?”

“Tell me again, so I can be sure,” Iruka purred. 

“You are, Iruka,” Kakashi said. He palmed the lighter from Iruka’s nightstand turned off the light before lighting two of the three candles Iruka used. “I don’t know how much time I have left with you.”  _ Kami knows I’ll die early.  _ He sighed as he reclined next to the chunin, tangling their legs together. “But I need you to know that. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. You’re still beautiful to me.”

Iruka grabbed his hair and tilted his head back to stare into his eyes. “Who are you and what have you done with my Kakashi?”

“It’s me,” Kakashi said, chuckling as he looked away. “I promise. I just--well, I needed to say that, I guess.” He pushed Iruka onto his back and kissed him hard, grinding their hips together. “Is that okay?”

“Fine,” Iruka said, surging up below him. “Now fuck me like you mean it.”

Kakashi kissed him once more before asking him to flip over. Iruka complied, sticking his hips back against the jonin’s stomach. “Nuh uh,” Kakashi said, pressing him down to the bed. “I’ve got a better plan.” He covered Iruka’s body with his, pressing his lips to each nub of the chunin’s spine, paying special attention to the shuriken scar. “Wait for it.”

Iruka whined when he clamped his teeth down on the taut muscles of his ass. “Are you going to take me or do I have to do it myself?”

Kakashi grinned and slipped a hand between Iruka’s hips and the mattress, palming his erection. “Trust me,” he whispered. Iruka groaned when he squeezed and nipped the other cheek. Kakashi bent low to lick a line from the soft skin of Iruka’s balls up to rest at his entrance. “You’ll enjoy this more.”

The strangled gasp from the head of the bed was everything Kakashi needed to hear when he pressed the tip of his tongue inside and massaged the tight ring of muscle.  _ Just like that, ‘Ru. Let me love you.  _ Iruka moaned from deep in his chest as Kakashi dove deeper and began to stroke him. “Fuck,” he panted. “Oh fuck, keep doing that.” Kakashi hummed against him and ran his free hand up Iruka’s spine, raking his nails down on the way back.  _ “Yes,”  _ Iruka hissed.

“Told you,” Kakashi said, breaking away for a breath. “You good?”

“I said don’t stop,” Iruka said, throwing a hand back to press Kakashi’s head down. “I’ll take it. Make me come.”

Kakashi dug his nails in and worked Iruka harder than he’d ever have thought possible, drawing out a series of obscene noises and curses from the chunin as he flew closer to the edge. When Iruka started saying he was close, Kakashi flipped him onto his back and took his cock all the way down his throat, pressing two fingers inside of him. Iruka arched off the bed when the jonin crooked the digits and found the tight bundle of nerves, crying Kakashi’s name. Kakashi thrust a few more times and Iruka came undone, wrapping his legs around Kakashi’s chest and squeezing as Kakashi swallowed everything.

Iruka groaned when Kakashi sucked one more time before pulling off. “Lemme do you, a’ least,” he slurred, high on the glow of the jonin’s incredibly talented tongue. 

“No,” Kakashi murmured, kissing up his heaving stomach. “I promised I’d take care of you and I did. You should sleep.”

Iruka nuzzled into his neck when he pulled the blanket over them. “You sure?” he asked with a yawn. 

“Positive.” Kakashi wrapped his arm around the chunin, tugging him close. “You can always make it up to me tomorrow if you want.” All that answered him was steady breathing, and he looked down to see Iruka already asleep.  _ Perfect.  _ He played with a strand of the teacher’s hair as he felt his eyelids droop.  _ First time sleeping over and you’re not even getting off. You’ve gone soft, Hatake.  _

He laughed softly at the thought.  _ Does it really matter? I’ve got days, weeks, months--kami, maybe even years. Because…  _ “I love you,” he whispered. Iruka shifted beneath him when he kissed his forehead and settled in. “It’s been a long fucking time since I could say that, Iruka. So thank you.”  _ You’re not getting rid of me now, babe.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi jerked awake in a bed that wasn’t his own. He instinctively reached for the kunai he kept on the windowsill and panicked when his hand hit knickknacks and some books.  _ Shit, where the fuck--gotta get out of here--where-- _

He lost his train of thought when an arm thumped across his chest, and everything came into focus. The small dolphin figurines catching the sunlight, the copy of Icha Icha he’d given Iruka, the chunin himself laying beside him and snoring. He began to breathe again and thumped his head back on the pillow, turning to his partner. Iruka’s eyes twitched in sleep and he brought his hands to Kakashi’s chest, curling in the fetal position as he started sleepily muttering about gold and jewels.

Kakashi stroked his hair lazily with one hand and began to sing quietly. “ _ If I could really fly, I’d spend my days in the blue sky…”  _ Iruka pressed his head into Kakashi’s chest and smiled, still asleep.  _ “But while I’m standing here, I will live, I will live under the sun.”  _ He kissed the bridge of Iruka’s nose and continued singing until his head began to pound from lack of caffeine. 

Iruka grumbled when he got up, but soon settled and clutched the newly-free blankets to his chest. Kakashi padded to the kitchen and pulled out the coffeemaker and a mug before searching for coffee. His sharp nose picked up the grounds in a cabinet, and his face wrinkled when he pulled out the bag.  _ Dark roast. Thought you had good taste, ‘Ru.  _ He made the pot and poured himself a cup with plenty of sugar while he contemplated his realization and admission from the night before. 

The couch creaked when he settled in with one of Iruka’s many fantasy books and was soon so engrossed in the tale of knights, beasts, and betrayal that he didn’t hear Iruka get up or walk over. He jumped when Iruka tapped his shoulder. “Morning, ‘Kashi,” the younger man said, bending down to hug him from behind.

Kakashi relaxed and smiled when he turned to kiss his partner’s cheek. “Morning. Sleep well?”

“Mhmm. Better than usual. You been here all night?”

“Of course,” Kakashi said. “I was needed.” He tugged at Iruka’s arm, urging him to sit. “C’mere. I miss you.”

Iruka laughed as he came around to sit next to Kakashi, reclining against him. “I see you’ve found the liquid drugs,” he said.

“Sorry,” Kakashi said, feeling a little guilty. “I would’ve gone out for some but I didn’t want you to think I left if you woke up and I was gone.”

“It’s fine,” Iruka said, pressing his cheek to Kakashi’s shoulder and yawning. “What’s mine is yours.” He tipped Kakashi’s face toward his and pressed their lips together. “I do need some, though. Didn’t get any on the road.” He stood and stretched, and Kakashi admired the way his muscles bunched in the sunlight.

“What do you want to do?” Kakashi asked. “I’ve got the day off.”

Iruka turned to look at him. “Whatever you want. I just need to relax.” A blush spread across his cheeks and he ducked his head. “I, ah, have an idea, but it’s kind of embarrassing.” He bit his lip and looked up through long lashes as he rubbed his neck.

“I can handle embarrassing,” Kakashi said, dragging the chunin into his lap.

“No,” Iruka whined, struggling out of his grip. “I still need coffee.”

Kakashi laughed as he released him, and Iruka made a beeline for the coffeemaker. He gasped in mock offense upon discovering that Kakashi had appropriated his favorite mug. He made do with his second favorite, a white base with the Konoha symbol stamped on it. Kakashi flushed when Iruka sat and told him what he had done. “Does this mean I need to bring my own mug, then?”  _ That would certainly set a precedent.  _

Over the rim of the cup, Iruka’s eyes met his. “I’d love that,” he said. “I mean, if that’s okay?”

“It’s perfect,” said Kakashi, kissing Iruka’s forehead. “So what’s this thing you want to do?”

“I should go shopping first. I don’t have much food, which I’m sure you’ve noticed,” Iruka said. Right on cue, his stomach grumbled. 

Kakashi snorted. “You’ve got more food than I do. Though you’re also a much better cook…” His sentence trailed off as he looked into Iruka’s tired eyes. “Are you sure you want to go out? You look exhausted, and it looks like a storm’s rolling in.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. You know as well as I do food is important to recovery,” Iruka said. His free hand brushed against the back of Kakashi’s neck, warming the jonin. 

Kakashi closed his eye and leaned back, savoring the sensation and letting out a small grunt of appreciation. “I’m coming with,” he mumbled. “I like doing things with you.”

The hand on his neck stilled before moving up to stroke his hair. Iruka set his cup on the floor before throwing his arms around Kakashi. “Thanks,” he said, burying his face into the jonin’s pale neck.

“‘S no problem, babe. I want you safe and happy,” Kakashi said.

Iruka’s arms tightened as he sighed happily. He sat still for several long minutes before hopping up and going to rummage through his dresser. “Ha!” he exclaimed, holding up a light green sweatshirt.

“Is that mine?” Kakashi asked.

“...maybe,” Iruka said as he tossed it to the side and pulled on a pair of jeans. When he tugged on the sweatshirt, he got tangled in the hood and growled before getting unstuck. It was slightly too small, but highlighted the broad panes of his chest well.  _ Not even mad he took it,  _ Kakashi thought with a grin. 

Iruka pulled the hood closed as he flopped down onto the couch with his head in Kakashi’s lap. “Gonna get dressed? Can’t very well be parading my boyfriend naked through the streets. Although…” Iruka loosened the string enough to peer out with one eye. “That would be quite the sight.” He winked and threw a hand dramatically in the air. “Come one, come all! See Konoha’s masked beauty, in the flesh!”

Kakashi snorted as he pushed Iruka off. “Right,” he said, smile tugging at his lips. He went to the bathroom in search of his clothes, smirking as a thought crossed his mind.  _ In the flesh, huh?  _ He put on his mask and looked in the mirror, running a finger through his hair.  _ Excellent.  _ Iruka gasped when he wound his way out of the bathroom, back wrapped sensually around the doorframe. “Still want to parade this in front of everyone?” 

Iruka gulped as Kakashi slunk toward him. “Ahh--” He licked his lips as Kakashi pressed his back into the couch. “Um, no, fairly certain I want that for myself.”

“Good,” Kakashi purred. “I’m all yours, sensei.” He drew back hastily as Iruka grabbed at him, desperately trying to pull him closer. “Nope, we’ve got errands to run.”

“Jerk,” Iruka huffed, pulling the hood over his face again.

“The absolute worst,” Kakashi agreed as he walked back to the bathroom and dressed fully. He put on his jacket and shoes and by the time he was done, Iruka still hadn’t finished pouting. “I’ll go buy food myself, then. Don’t worry, I’ll buy all instant ramen. Well, maybe some c--”

“No,” Iruka said, interrupting him. He stood and pointed a finger at the jonin. “You--” he stabbed the finger accusingly-- “will do no such thing, sir. I need vegetables.”

Kakashi tossed him his shoes. “You done pouting?”

“No,” Iruka grumped. “I think you need to make it up to me.”

The jonin motioned for him to come closer. When they stood chest to chest, Kakashi twined their fingers together and pushed Iruka flush against the wall. He pressed his hips into Iruka’s and listened to the harsh sigh it earned him. “I need to do what, now?” he whispered in Iruka’s ear.

“Just keep doing that, that’s good,” Iruka breathed. 

Kakashi pulled away when Iruka’s stomach growled insistently. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, ‘Ru. Otherwise you might try to eat me,” he joked. Iruka sighed as he released his hands, then retrieved his shoes from where Kakashi had thrown them. He grabbed his keys from the counter and made one last loop. Kakashi grabbed an umbrella out of the small pot by the door and took Iruka’s hand as they stepped out onto the small balcony.

“Damn, you weren’t kidding,” Iruka said as the rain began to pour. “Short trip today, then. We can do a bigger one later, when the sun’s out.”

Kakashi grinned.  _ More things to do together, love.  _ “Can we stop by my place on the way back?”

“Sure,” Iruka said as they pounded down the stairs and onto the near deserted street. “I can’t have you stealing my mug all the time.” He pulled Kakashi closer, leaning his head on the jonin’s shoulder. Kakashi slid an arm around his waist and they walked in silence until the familiar shops appeared.  _ Little things, ‘Ru. I want to do the little things with you. _

 

_ ** _

“Lead the way,” Kakashi said. He laughed when Iruka tugged him toward a butcher’s stand. “So much for veggies.”

“Can I get that, please?” Iruka asked the butcher before turning to shoot Kakashi a withering glare.

The man smiled as he wrapped the meat tightly.  “Big date tonight or something, boys?”

Iruka looked to Kakashi, eyes wide and questioning. Most shinobi knew about their relationship, but Kakashi’s easily recognizable-- _ well,  _ not  _ so recognizable _ \--face was well known in Konoha.  _ Does he want that kind of exposure?  _ He was surprised when Kakashi winked before stating, “Yes, sir.”

“You two have fun. Young love, there’s nothing like it!” the butcher said, beaming at the pair. He rang Iruka up and sent them on their way, still smiling the entire time.

Kakashi’s arm snaked around Iruka as he looked down on him. “So,” he said. “What are we doing on our big date tonight?”

Iruka blushed and stared at the ground as he steered them toward a stall of vegetables. “It’d be easier if I just showed you, I think,” he said, searching through piles of greens until he found some spinach. He then picked his way through the stall and paid while Kakashi leaned against the awning for support. Bag on hip, the chunin nudged his partner back into the rain.

“Home?” Kakashi asked.

“Yeah, I’m starving.” As they walked, Iruka’s blush kept renewing.  _ Come on, it’s not that bad, _ he chided himself. On the way into the apartment complex, they passed Izumo and Kotetsu, both soaked and covered in mud.

“Oh, hey guys!” Kotetsu said cheerfully. “We were just wondering if--oof,” he huffed as Izumo elbowed him in the ribs.

“Shh,” Izumo hissed.

Kotetsu shoved him away and spoke quickly. “We were all wondering if you’ve gotten the pleasure of being seduced by Kakashi yet, Iruka.” The sentence came out in almost one word as he leapt away from Izumo’s hand seeking to silence him. Once again, the pair found themselves exchanging an alarmed glance. Iruka coughed uncomfortably and shifted his feet. 

“Shut up, idiot,” Izumo said, slapping Kotetsu and dragging him into his apartment. “See you guys later,” he called out the door before slamming it and laying into Kotetsu.

Iruka and Kakashi stood stunned for a second before Iruka burst into laughter. “Those fucking guys, man,” he snickered. “Let me tell you. Working the desk with them? Never a dull moment.”

“I can imagine. I’ve seen you when I come in some days. There’s always some sort of commotion.” Kakashi grabbed the bags and started up the stairs. “Coming?’

“Yeah, yeah,” Iruka said, walking behind. “Why did I pick a fourth floor apartment again?”

“Maybe Gai convinced you stairs were good in the mornings,” Kakashi said.

Iruka hummed in response as they reached his door. He unlocked it and took the bag from Kakashi so the jonin could shake off the umbrella. Once inside, Iruka took off his shoes and walked to dump the vegetables unceremoniously in the sink.

“Hey, come back,” Kakashi whined from the doorway. “Give me a kiss.” He put the umbrella back in the pot and drummed his fingers impatiently on the wall until Iruka made his way back. He grabbed his mask down to kiss the chunin, but Iruka pulled it back up and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek before grabbing at his crotch. Kakashi’s cock stirred under the grip, but before he could so much as breathe, Iruka pulled away and turned him toward the door. 

“Go get your coffee cup,” Iruka said. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Kakashi sighed dramatically. “Don’t miss me too much,” he said as he slipped out the door.

Iruka went back to the sink and began to prepare the food. The scent of the meat cooking made his mouth water as he washed and chopped the vegetables for a salad. He tossed them in a bowl just as the steaks finished cooking to a perfect medium rare, and he put them on plates to wait for Kakashi.

_ Young, Iruka. He was so young.  _ The chunin grasped the edge of the counter and bent over it, chest heaving. He’d gone the entire day without a thought of the mission, the way the boy’s blood had flowed from his chest onto Iruka’s hands. His eyes widened as he couldn’t stop the onslaught of images.  _ I killed him. Kami, he was so young, and I--I killed him. Fuck, I-- _

His fixating was cut abruptly short my the door opening. Kakashi stepped in and called, “Smells awesome, ‘Ru.” Iruka registered the sound of a bag dropping while Kakashi took off his jacket and shoes. “I brought a few other things, if you don’t mi--’Ru,” he gasped as he rounded the corner and took in the sight of his partner bent over, eyes haunted. He rushed to his side and placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Iruka.” As Iruka leaned into his touch, Kakashi pulled him into a hug.

“I killed him,” Iruka whispered, hands balling at his sides.

“I know.” Kakashi stroked Iruka’s ponytail. “I know. It’s okay, I know.”

Iruka drew in a shuddering breath before wrapping his arms around Kakashi like a vice. He bent his neck and pressed his forehead into the jonin’s chest, muttering before moving to kiss the dip between Kakashi’s collarbones.

“What was that?” Kakashi asked.

Iruka’s arms loosened as he looked into Kakashi’s eye. “I said, ‘I want to make a fort.’” His breathing was slowing, pulse no longer pounding. One more deep inhale to steel himself and he pulled away from Kakashi, burying the flashback. “Don’t judge me too badly,” he said softly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Kakashi whispered, tilting Iruka’s face away from the floor. Iruka blushed as the jonin pulled his mask down and kissed him tenderly. “I,” Kakashi said as he pulled away to kiss Iruka’s forehead. “Would love.” He kissed Iruka’s scar. “To build.” A feather-light kiss on his left eye. “A fort.” A matching peck on the right. “With you.” He pulled back to look at Iruka’s face, beet-red but now smiling.

Iruka slid his arms down Kakashi’s sides to grab his hands. He swung their arms between them and swayed lightly. “Eating first, though,” he said. “Still starving. Sit and I’ll grab plates.”

Kakashi obliged, walking to the bed as Iruka turned back to the counter. Iruka heard fabric rustling and looked questioningly to the bed, gasping at the sight of Kakashi standing naked. “Ah, Kakashi?”

The jonin flushed and held up the sweatpants in his hand.  “Just getting comfortable,” he said. Iruka nodded, giving him a heated once-over. Kakashi made a shooing motion and he returned to plating dinner. When he turned back around, Kakashi had settled on the couch, scratching at the lines his mask had left.

They ate quickly, both hungry enough to not care there wasn’t conversation. Kakashi took their dishes to the kitchen when they were done, and Iruka got up to search through the large chest at the end of his bed. Pillows and blankets flew into a large pile as he rooted through it, preparing. Kakashi made himself at home on the couch again as he watched. “Got enough blankets?”

“Maybe,” Iruka said. “We’ll see. Here,come help me.” Kakashi got up with a groan and stood behind him to put his hands on the chunin’s hips and massage lightly. Iruka giggled and turned to kiss him. “I meant help me build, genius,” he said. Kakashi bent down to pick up a blanket, bright pink and fuzzy. He held it up questioningly. “Gag gift from Anko,” Iruka said.

“Ahh,” Kakashi replied. He walked over to the couch and stuffed the corners of the blanket deep into the cushions, hoping it would hold. “Pillow, please,” he said, and Iruka tossed one over. Kakashi walked around and pulled the other side of the blanket to the bed and tucked it up dear the mattress. “Like that? Not sure I know how to build a proper blanket fort.”

Iruka knelt and crawled under the blanket, popping up next to Kakashi. He crossed his arms in mock seriousness as he examined Kakashi’s work. “I believe this is more than acceptable,” he said gruffly before snorting, unable to keep up the charade. “Fort building isn’t an exact science, ‘Kashi.” He crawled under the blanket again and tossed Kakashi another piece of fabric. “Here. This one can be the door for that side. Just drape it over the pink one.”

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Kakashi asked, walking back around the couch to hug Iruka from behind. The younger man’s hair was falling out of his ponytail in large chunks as he bent to shove more pillows inside the fort. Kakashi pressed his lips to the hollow behind Iruka’s ear, loving the way the chunin shivered.

Iruka turned to face Kakashi and pressed a hand to the jonin’s chest, staring mischievously. “I’ve heard it once or twice,” he said with a wink. 

“Well, now you’ve heard it three times,” Kakashi said, bending to kiss him again.

Iruka ducked his head and pulled Kakashi to the floor and into the fort. “It’s done,” he said. “Come with me.”

The inside of the fort was dark and small, but surprisingly not claustrophobic. Iruka had lined pillows along the couch and carefully placed blankets on the hard floor. He was currently reclining against the pillows, motioning for Kakashi to join him. The jonin laid down and settled under Iruka’s arm, dropping his head to relax on the chunin’s chest. He hummed contentedly as Iruka’s fingers threaded through his hair. 

“I used to do this with my parents,” Iruka said softly. Kakashi slid an arm behind his back and held tightly. “Whenever they were sad, or had come off a difficult mission, I’d build them a fort and we’d relax together.” His hand stilled and for a moment he was lost in thought. “I still do it when I’m having a hard time,” he admitted, resuming playing with Kakashi’s hair.

Kakashi brought a hand to his face and pulled his face down to kiss him. “I imagine it helped a lot,” he murmured. “It’s incredibly cozy. I think I’m falling in love with the idea of forts.” He trailed his fingers down Iruka’s stomach and brought his hand to rest inside the sweatshirt’s pocket.

“In love, huh?” Iruka asked quietly, craning his neck to look down at Kakashi. His fingers made their way down the jonin’s neck to brush against his collarbones. The jonin’s breath hitched as Iruka turned to face him. Iruka brought his free hand up to drag a knuckle across Kakashi’s cheek. There was no hesitation or embarrassed flush as he stared deep into the copy-nin’s eyes and said, “I think I’m falling in love too.”

Kakashi leaned into the hand before pressing up to kiss Iruka’s cheek. He slid off his hitai-ate, letting it thump to the pillows. Iruka gasped lightly when he opened the Sharingan. Kakashi placed a hand on each side of Iruka’s face, drawing his thumbs across the scar. “Iruka,” he whispered hoarsely before clearing his throat.

“You don’t need to say it, ‘Kashi,” Iruka said, pressing their foreheads together with his eyes closed.

“I know,” Kakashi said. Iruka’s eyes flew open as he pushed the chunin’s face away. “I know I don’t have to and I know it’s probably okay if I don’t, but I want to, Iruka.” He inhaled deeply. “I love you, Umino Iruka. You’ve brought light into my grey life and have given me a sense of normalcy. You might not know exactly what that means to me, but kami if I won’t spend every fucking day trying to show you.” Iruka’s eyes crinkled shut as he bowed his head, smiling as a single tear slipped down his cheek. Kakashi bent down to kiss it away, tongue flicking lightly over Iruka’s smooth skin. “I love you.”

Iruka stared deep into Kakashi’s mismatched eyes as a grin spread across his face. “Hatake Kakashi, I have loved you for months.  _ Months.  _ Finally, I can just fucking say it and know you feel the same.” He pulled the jonin in for a bruising kiss, rolling him onto his back and kneeling over him. “I fucking love you,” he growled. “And I am so happy with you. You’re mine.”  _ And I’m never letting you go. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).


	3. One

“Fuck, ‘Ru,” Kakashi whispered. He thrust his hips up against Iruka’s, aching with need. “My turn. You should fuck me this time. Please.”

Iruka pulled back to look down at him heatedly. “Seriously?”

Kakashi nodded. “You should feel special,” he said, running his hands over Iruka’s thighs. “I only bottom for someone who’s really something else.”

“Yes,” Iruka said, wrapping him in a hug and stamping a line of heated kisses down his neck. “Kami, yes, Kakashi. Can’t wait to be inside of you,  _ finally. _ ” His face felt damp and Kakashi looked over to see another few tears sliding down his cheeks. “Sorry,” Iruka said. “Happy tears, again. Weird.” He shrugged and grinned. 

“Not weird, just very ‘you,’” Kakashi murmured. “And I love all of you.”

“Even the tears?”

“Mmm, even those,” Kakashi said, kissing them away. 

Iruka leaned into him, weaving their legs together. He huffed when Kakashi slid his fingers under the hem of the sweatshirt. “Mmph,” he muttered against Kakashi’s lips. “Cold.”

“Better warm me up then, love,” Kakashi said, nibbling his earlobe. He pushed his hands further up Iruka’s back, making the chunin shiver, but not through to pull away. 

“I’ve got the perfect thing for that,” Iruka said. He pressed against Kakashi’s thigh, sighing at the friction. Kakashi’s breath sped up as Iruka ran his hands down his chest and tugged at his shirt. The chunin pulled back and looked at him once again. “You’re sure, right?”

“Yes, Iruka,” Kakashi said. He bucked his hips and Iruka shuffled so he was kneeling over Kakashi’s thighs, head getting lost in the blankets. 

“Stupid--fucking--piece--argh,” Iruka groaned, gathering the blanket and tugging it out of the couch. Kakashi blinked rapidly at the sudden light as Iruka tossed the blanket away. “Much better,” Iruka said. He reached down to ruck Kakashi’s shirt up around his chest and trailed his fingers over the jonin’s jumping stomach. 

Kakashi put both hands above his head and Iruka ripped his shirt all the way off, nipping at his neck. “Please,” he said. Iruka was pressed against his stomach, grinding down on his cock like it was the only thing keeping him sane. “Ahh, ‘Ru--”

Iruka pulled back with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “What, want me to stop or something? I was just getting started,” he said.

Kakashi let his head fall back into the pillows. Words were hard as Iruka continued to press down on him. “Clothes,” he said weakly, gesturing at Iruka’s sweatshirt. 

“Mmm, what about them?” Iruka asked. “Should I--” He paused to swirl his tongue around one of Kakashi’s pebbled nipples, drawing out a groan from the jonin. “Hmm, just take them off? Is that what you want?” Kakashi nodded as Iruka fiddled with the tie on his sweatpants. Iruka stood to take off the sweatshirt, then the tank top underneath, looking sinful in only his tight jeans. He ordered Kakashi to stand and take off his pants and Kakashi moaned when Iruka knelt to nuzzle into the fabric of his underwear. The chunin reached around to grab his ass and drag him closer, kissing him through the black fabric. 

“Oh, fuck,” Kakashi sighed. 

Iruka pulled down his underwear and kissed his bare skin, suckling on the tip and tonguing roughly at the slit. He could’ve stayed there all night for all Kakashi cared, but he stood and pulled Kakashi toward the bed. “Lay in the middle,” he directed. “That’s it.”

Kakashi slid a hand into his ponytail and tugged his head to the side, marking up and down his neck. His breath ghosted over the chunin’s pulse, making Iruka shiver. “You gonna wait forever or are you going to get on with it?” he asked.

“Funny,” Iruka said, shoving him into the mattress. “I remember asking you the same thing last night.”

“Take off your fucking clothes,” Kakashi said, pressing his hips up into Iruka’s.

“Beg.”

“For the love of all that is fucking holy, please, fucking  _ please _ get naked and inside of me, ‘Ru, can’t wait to feel you fucking my ass like it’s your only job in life,” Kakashi rasped, trying desperately to get at the buttons on Iruka’s jeans. 

Iruka stood on the bed, wobbling as he shucked the offending fabric. “That’s more like it,” he said. “Again.”

Kakashi took himself in one hand and ran the other through his hair, panting up at the chunin. “Fill me like I’m the one you dream about while you masturbate, the fucking one thing you want to come in and make your bitch,” he said, crying out  when Iruka fell back to the bed and bit into his shoulder.

“That’s it,” Iruka growled. His hand scrabbled on the nightstand for the bottle they kept, whining when he couldn’t find it. He broke away to search and Kakashi cursed every god that had hidden it. “Ha!” Iruka said triumphantly, clicking open the top. 

“Just remember it’s been a long time,” Kakashi said, hissing at the cold liquid on Iruka’s teasing fingers. 

“Oh, I’ll be good to you,” Iruka said. He took Kakashi’s cock in his mouth at the same time he breached him, perfectly distracting the jonin from the slight sting. Kakashi focused on not thrusting up into the wet heat of Iruka’s mouth as the chunin worked him open, sliding in another finger. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” Iruka said, resting his forehead on Kakashi’s stomach. “Like a vice around me. Kami, I can’t wait to get my dick in you.”

Kakashi tossed his head back at the addition of a third finger, groaning and fisting a hand in Iruka’s hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he sighed. “Do it, just fucking do me already, you bastard.”

Iruka drew the jonin’s legs over his shoulders and lined himself up, kissing away Kakashi’s noises as he pressed in slowly. When he bottomed out, both of Kakashi’s eyes were blown wide and his nails were digging into Iruka’s neck. “Okay?” Iruka asked. 

“Just a second,” Kakashi ground out, breathing heavily. The pair sat connected for what seemed like an eternity before Kakashi gave the okay for Iruka to move. The chunin worked up to an almost blistering pace, holding Kakashi’s hands above his head and  _ refusing  _ to touch his neglected cock. Each drag on Kakashi’s insides drew out another noise and Iruka grinned down at him through the curtain of brown hair. 

“You like that?” he asked, readjusting Kakashi’s legs. “Bet you want to come, don’t you? Just for me.”

“Yes,” Kakashi panted. “Please. Please let me.”

Iruka released his hands and brought one of his own to stroke the jonin in time with each of his thrusts. “Come on, then,” he said, snapping forward. “What’s stopping you?”

Kakashi raked his fingers down Iruka’s arms as he came, grinding harder down onto his cock. “Iruka,” he gasped. “Oh, fuck, kami, shit,  _ oh--” _

Iruka planted a hand on his chest as his hips stuttered to a stop, dripping a bead of sweat onto Kakashi’s pale skin.  _ “That--”  _ He let Kakashi’s legs down and dropped to both hands above him. “We’re doing that again.”

“Yeah,” Kakashi said. “Get a towel though, please?”

Iruka pulled out and disappeared, bringing back a washcloth and cleaning Kakashi gently. “Thank you,” he said, looking into Kakashi’s eye. “Really. It’s not often I get to do that.”

Kakashi tossed an arm over his face and relaxed into the mattress. “You can do that any fucking time,” he murmured as Iruka climbed back next to him. “I’m pretty sure I love you even more after that.”

Iruka flushed crimson. “It’s not that good.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Kakashi said, turning to face him. “Pretty sure there’s magic in that cock of yours.”

“Whatever you say,” Iruka said, yawning. He snuggled closer, kissing Kakashi’s chest as the jonin lightly stroked his back. “Just ‘s long as you keep coming back for me.”

“Always,” Kakashi whispered, pressing his lips to Iruka’s temple. The chunin’s breath evened out quickly, and Kakashi closed his eyes and basked in the feeling of closeness he’d been missing. Soon enough, sleep overtook him as well, and he drifted into dreams of warmth and wood and brown and Iruka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).


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